I am forever indebted to Matthew (Meinck), as he saved my life.

I am forever indebted to Matthew (Meinck), as he saved my life.

I was consumed with depression all my life.

The core feeling of worthlessness never left me, and affected my whole life.

I had attempted to take my life three times, and was endlessly planning the next attempt to escape the pain of myself and my inability to cope with the world around me.

With Matthew's help through massage and counselling my depression has been resolved.

Now i have an understanding that comes as a feeling from within my self, not just a recognition in my thinking.

When the overwhelming urgency comes to kill myself now, i know it is just a sensation leaving my body which was the feeling i was left with, after each time i was abused as a child.

After every time i was abused, that feeling of wanting to kill myself, as well as the physical and emotional trauma, was trapped in my body.

Matthew has not only stopped the pattern of being sexually abused, he has opened the flood gates for all the trapped trauma to be released and healed.

Therefore giving me a life, and a life worth living.

I owe Matthew so much, thank you with all my heart.

post submitted by Gaby

Thanks to Matthew (Meinck) my time and my home is now my own

I live in a feeling of being nothing therefore having nothing to offer.
I did want to try to express the recent feeling deep in me of knowing I no longer make myself available to be used day and night.

'Being switched off and numb since my first abuse at 6 months, it took Matthew (Meinck) 10 years of constant hard work and support to allow me to finally start to thaw.
And I still need his continuing interaction to help me see when I'm trapped in my victims thinking.
I can't begin to describe to you the feeling of not being an unpaid whore in my own home anymore, where whenever I was at home and I never knew when and whom was going to turn up and demand what. The constant anxiety and pressure I lived under in my own home as well as the panic if I wanted to do something for myself or away from the house. The persistent feeling of always having to be prepared and ready was terrifying.
Thanks to Matthew (Meinck) my time and my home is now my own.
The feelings of anxiety and panic are still there as habit but with far less intensity and frequency.
The knowing and the relief deep within me that the action doesn't happen anymore is worth more than I can express.....'

post submitted by Tina

There is nothing that I felt through that process that Matthew (Meinck) didn’t feel along with me

What is it like to live a life of fear? To feel you have to try to control everything and everyone in your life.

The emotional psychological physical and sexual abuse I suffered as a child led me try to (in a child’s way you try) to control my world. Trying not to step on cracks in the ground or holding my breath in between them was the first thing I recognised as the start of the control. My world was completely out of control my father's rage would flare up at any moment give whatever he believed at the time to be a just reason and as a child I thought I was the reason.

As an adult I lived my life still holding my breath and it wasn't until this week I have realised to what extent that was happening. 

I have only been able to realise this because it is finally breaking down.

To be able to live my life free of this is something I don’t feel words could ever do justice to.

And when I say free I mean in every sense of the word. A freedom from fear a freedom from self-disgust a freedom from feeling as survivors of sexual abuse do that I had to pay a price a penance because after all it was all my fault right. 

In this harsh and violent world I found a way to heal, someone to guide me someone brave enough to take that ride with me. There is nothing that I felt through that process that Matthew (Meinck) didn’t feel along with me he laid his health on the line simply because he could see the need I had and that he could heal that need. The things I have read in the media contrary to this disgust me and the only thing that really concerns me in life now is that the utterly unique way that Matthew (Meinck) has of encouraging healing in a person will continue to be miss represented and will be lost to the people who need it most. 

He has nurtured my health and now I am in position to nurture his and that is what I intend to do.

post submitted by Anonymous