Matthew Meinck was the only person who could reach me

Shut down, powerless, hiding form myself, hiding from everyone, there wasn't enough of me present to engage in life. I felt withdrawn, like looking out of a window watching everything going on around me but I felt stuck, disconnected.

Unable to express the agony and confusion of what it felt like to be me but couldn't understand why I felt so horrible and shut down.

Matthew Meinck, was the only person who could reach me, hiding inside too afraid to be seen or heard. Through our interactions, this terrified part began to feel safe to express like never before.

With his unique understanding, no textbook jargon, just gutsy real interaction with true sensitivity , I could feel the truth being uncovered from this hidden me.

Being sexually abused as a small child, the trauma is unbearable, no words, no concept of what it means, but the sense of it remains in the body, locked in. The pattern is set, the abuse continued throughout my life. This part of me was hidden, a secret life, born of this kind of pain.

Coming back to life has been painful, facing up to the trauma, the horrible feelings and disease in me.

Matthew goes so far beyond the limited concept we have been taught to believe is “healing” in the medical world. I avoided surgery having healed a condition called “endometriosis” which  debilitated me for most of my adult life, by taking real care of myself, healing naturally!

If Matthew had not been so brutally cut down by the lies and media propaganda, a hell of a lot more people could have had the opportunity to truly heal, as I am.

post submitted by Debra   

This could not have been possible without the tireless and unending support of Matthew Meinck

Ending the cycle of abuse has been the single most difficult thing I have done in my life. This could not have been possible without the tireless and unending support of Matthew Meinck. This period of transformation occurred for me during a time when Matthew was subjected to gross media vilification and malicious personal attacks on him. Without his brave resilience to these attacks, I would not have had the ability or the inspiration to make the dramatic changes in my life that I have.

Being subjected to extreme physical, psychological and sexual abuse is something a child should never experience. My experience of being abused as a child caused a disassociation within me from the pain and trauma that the abuse causes. The disassociation is necessary for survival, living in an environment where those that are meant to be the caregivers are actually the abusers. I became numb to this part of my life and it was as if it didn’t even exist. I didn’t have the ability or the capacity to take on the abuse – no child does!

Growing into physical adulthood the abuse continued. Being numb to this aspect of my life, I had little awareness of how vulnerable I was to continually being abused and also to abusing others. Being disassociated from and numb to the pain and trauma of abuse is what allowed me to abuse others – you have to be divided within yourself to be able to do this.

The only way this cycle of abuse was able to come to an end was for the division within me to become integrated so that I could live as a whole person – for the first time in my life as an adult. I had to relive and experience the extreme disturbance and the pain and trauma of abuse, something I had disassociated with, to become whole again. I believe that this would not have been possible without the unending support given to me by Matthew. His support was determined and consistent even when faced with his own personal challenges of being attacked by a misinformed media and public.

It is thanks to Matthew that I can now live a life free of this world of abuse. Something I am eternally grateful for. My only wish is that people would wake up to how important people like Matthew are in the world and support them rather than allow them to be attacked.

post submitted by Monte