21st Jan 2013
Having regular deep tissue massages with Matthew and attending his meditation retreats have changed my life.
It is difficult to express the subtle but profound changes that take place working with him but I wanted to put pen to paper to give it a go because I realized today that the peace that I am able to feel now is not only in stark contrast to the way I have lived my life for the last 40 years but a thing I often thought wasn’t possible .
One of the benefits of the retreat environment is that it gives you time to really slow down and when you feel a high level of anxiety in your body on a daily basis at first this seems a stupid if not terrifying thing to do because obviously you feel it more. It has taken some doing but because of the slowing down I can live my life now with the freedom to have anxiety there or bliss and everything in between. The problem was never that I had the anxiety or other difficult feelings, it was that I didn’t want to feel them.
I only realized it when a comment Matthew made on a recent retreat that struck a cord with me as they often do and it was something to the effect of “that it is not that parts of what we feel that are bad it is weather or not it is all of you” Which I noticed is how I am able to live now. To live with all that I am and feel even if I don’t always like it I can accept it.
My only goal along the way was to be able to live with myself. It just took hard work and patience from both of us for me to stay with myself long enough to accept how I was/am. Today I realized I can.
This may sound a trivial thing to some but to people who have lived with the anxiety, confusion, depression and often terror on a daily basis even after all the medications and therapies I could find to try to help, it is like being let out of a straight jacket.
There is no euphoria just relief and a respect for what it took from both Matthew and myself to get to this point and keep going.
I knew when I first met Matthew that I was meeting someone unlike anyone I’d met before, someone that was real and whole. This powerful mix frightened me because I had a sense straight away that the truth in him had already connected with the damage in me and would be able to heal it but also what it was going to take on my part to get past my terror. I had no idea that it would take his personal sacrifice as well, I can only be grateful that he continued the journey with me.
Matthew’s approach to healing is constantly evolving and as I watch others like myself start the process with him I am excited to watch them start new lives just like I did.
What I have described is just one positive effect that Matthew has had on my life this man is truly a profound healer and I hope that for as long as he wants to continue that there are other people who are eager to receive what he has to offer.
He helped me to discover the truth about myself and the world around me.
post submitted by Alison
