I get overwhelmed when i try to express why Matthew is so important to me. one day i will be able to express it clearly for other people to understand. it is a feeling that is very very deep inside, he has made it possible for me to live, he has spoken to the parts of me that were deeply hidden, the parts that i thought were completely abhorrent and unacceptable, he was firstly able to reach them and i don’t think it is an exaggeration to say no-one else had the capacity to even know they existed inside me let alone to speak to and reach these parts. you don’t understand what it is to be raped to within an inch of your life, what that does to you, how it destroys your capacity to live, that part of you that was there would never really be healed, well Matthew has facilitated the impossible, and in this way he literally brought me back to life. What i am trying to express is that other people may help you to heal the surface, but i know of no- one else capable of reaching the darkest places and bringing them to the surface that they may integrate and rejoin life. It is this part of me that is ferociously grateful to Matthew, probably because this part of me is a little ferocious in general. it is gutsy and raw, it has been to the limit and returned.
post submitted by S.J.L.
